I want November back.

So, at the behest of others and my own lack of motivation to write on the topic of Rasselas & Gulliver's Travels : The differing approaches of authors on the subject of travel as a means to discovering good governance, of state and family as well as the individual...here I am.
Weeeeee.....
and thud.
How in the world am I going to write 8 pages on that by tomorrow?
How am I going to cite four secondary sources of scholarly integrity when I've not even finished reading one of the texts?
Am I the worst student ever, or typical?
The context of my life fascinates me, and I am sorry I will not be able to look back in a hundred years and judge objectively. What would an archeologist think of me and my patent lateness and procrastination? What would they think of my scattered essays? From A's to F's -the whole gamut encapsulated in my own varying interest in the subjects at hand.
Somedays I like being me.
Somedays not.
I'm so close to being done school I can taste it. My plans for afterwards have shifted again, as well. I think a year off of constant deadlines, pressure and expectations is needed.
I havn't had a solid year off school since I started and now is the time.
I'll use that time to focus on writing. I deserve some time to work on my craft, and not just stolen half hours inbetween lectures and studying. I mean serious, dedicated time spent on something which I want to earn my future living on. As well as time to indulge my other passions, namely photography.
Can't be all work and no play now, can I?
Except I have been lately. Time to pull up the proverbial boot straps again and buckle down.
Where does this resolve come from? Sometimes I think if I was a wiser person, I would understand more thoroughly that the opinion others hold of me means little in regard to the opinion I hold of myself.
What difference does a piece of paper saying you completed this schools requirments for graduation mean? There are thousands of people who drop out of school and go on to live successful, vibrant and influential lives.
But I have resolve, of my Celtic ancestors proportions. I've not put nearly 5 years of my life to bed for nothing. I will have a diploma.
And I like learning.
I would love to create documentaries later on in life.
They are perhaps one of the best tools of education that we have hit upon yet, in my opinion.
Visual messages are always more impactful. If one does not have a good imagination, one does not read. The scenes created within are too complex and diverse to be imagined by one with weak imagination. However, show someone what happened in history, or show someone how things are made, evolved, etc....and the idea takes root.
I love words, I love the sound and rhythm they create, and the freedom they empart.
But what of other languages? Am I to be denied understanding of certain places and cultures because I cannot speak and read the language native to the area?
That hardly seems fair, does it?
Thus...documentaries. Ah...the age of enlightenment is TRULY upon us.
It would be a hell of a lot more fun to do this essay if it could be done in video blog format.
But, those are the breaks, aren't they baby?
-Jessica Leigh 2007

~Told 'em I finished school and I started my own business/They said 'oh, you graduated?' Naw, I decided I was finished/ Chasing ya'll dreams and what you got planned/ Now I spit it so hot you got tanned/ Back to school and I hate it there, hate it there/ Everything I want I gotta wait a year, wait a year~