End of an Era

With so much of my world crumbling, it's hard to see any light at the end of my tunnel.
I would love to go back to Ottawa to be with my grandmother but I cannot afford the time off, and outside of family I have little to no reason to return. Only one person was concerned for my grandma's well being - only one. Out of the 100+ people who are my "friends" via facebook - one person took the time to see how my grandmother was faring and how I was feeling. He even offered to bring her flowers on my behalf without my needing to mention it. I do not need friends in my life who are more concerned with posting pictures.
It is clear that our priorities have diverged.
It would never occur to me to NOT see how a friend was doing after their great-grandfather died and their grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and a tumor on her fractured spine and then during surgery to install a chest tube for her treatments, her lung collapses. To me, that is much more important than posting pictures. While I can understand that people have their own issues and family problems to deal with, and that those take presedence over my issues, I cannot understand not acknowledging it at all.
Posting pictures of your exciting vacation, while enjoyable, does not comfort me. It does not reassure me that there is mutual care and respect in the friendship. If anything, it says boldly "Do not entreat upon my happiness with your sorrow". At the very least, while waiting for all of those pictures to upload, a few lines to show your concern would have been enough.
Quite frankly, I am a little disgusted.
The people I've spent years growing up with, confiding in, laughing and crying with couldn't give a toss if I've been bawling my eyes out every night or not.
I am sick of faux friends. I am perfectly capable of seeing that since I have arrived in Whitehorse, the amount of contact between us has dropped to more or less none. Even though I have given you all a long-distance free number that you could call. Even though my facebook was still available to you, you would rather "poke" me than make any real effort at communication.
Please keep that minimal gesture to yourselves from now on.
I used to love Ottawa, coming over the bridge by Moodie drive with the whole city stretched out used to give me a rush of pleasure. Now, I can only see the way that politics has infested the city, creating displaced values and a "me first" attitude.
Sadly, I fear it has trickled down to the youth of my generation. Pointedly ignoring the pain of others so that you can continue to have a good day, void of any negative thoughts, is a survival technique of those unable or unwilling to deal with the immediate reality. Even more sad is the use of this technique on so called "friends" when they perhaps need support the most.
So, I thank you for the years of laughter and now better understand the Ottawa definition of "friendship". It's not that your version of friendship is "wrong" it is just not right for me. I need more from a friend than the occasional flip greeting and half-assed inquries into my (now)personal life.
I hope that you can step out of yourselves to see where I am coming from. I need no reply to this rant, as there is not much that can be said to redeem anyone. I may have high expectations, but that is because I value quality, not quantity. As I get older, I realize more and more about myself, and I have come to see that I cannot tolerate "lazy friends" or anyone else who claims to be close to me and then does not take me and my personality into account. If we were really friends - we would set aside time to check up and talk etc. I feel I am constantly harassing people into being my friend, and I don't like it. All relationships need work, and I'm done doing the lion's share of the maintenance for them. I realize this won't sit well with most of you, but this has really choked me for sometime now and my feelings on the topic needed to be vented.
-Jessica Leigh