Insert pithy title here....

Here I am, typing away on my laptop. I'm missing classes today so I can finish my essay by 5pm. (And thus hand it in @ 5:30pm) One of my classes (Med. Lit) had a 'recitation' due today for 5 %. I was torn, because I'd rather not throw away 5% of my mark but this essay is worth 20%. I figured it was more important to do the essay. And I also feel crappy cause I've been missing a lot of classes in the last 3 weeks. I just don't have time to stay on top of everything! I'm going from deadline to deadline without a second to just breathe.
I have to leave the house for showings...last night I had to leave for 45mins in the middle of my essay...it's just getting ridiculous. If the house doesn't sell soon, I'm going to just move out I think and let my parents deal with it. I can't live like this much longer.
GAH...now it's almost noon and I have 4 pages left...I have to have a shower...and get down to Chuckles' to pick up before 5pm.
Sometimes I would give anything to just move the hell out into the country, do my work by proxy and grow plants like they were my babies. That would be my life and I would LOVE it. No deadlines, no harrasment, no people showing up without calling...it would be awesome.
Sometimes I think I'm fundamentally different from most people. I could easily live by myself...in fact I strongly suspect I will be alone for the majority of my life. My friends include me in large group activities sometimes...but sometimes when they all go out for dinner or to a movie my invite gets lost in the mail. When there's an adventure to be had, (Let's drive up to the cottage for lunch today! or...Let's have breakfast at the sugar bush!) my name rarely comes up as companion. As well, my circle of friends is limited to maybe 6-7 people. I played hockey like it was my religion and made my teamates my friends. When the team was split up, I lost a lot of friends. And by dint of being at hockey so much, my high school friends didn't see me as much as I would have liked. They stopped inviting me to things, assuming I would be at hockey. And to top it all off, I moved a lot when I was a kid. This is my 11th house in my 23 years. Never stayed in one place long enough to make any good, solid friendships. And after moving so much and meeting so many shallow, self-absorbed people, my tendency is not to seek out friendships. I've had too many that go nowhere and drop off at the first sign of change. I guess that would qualify me for 'Trust Issues', but I firmly believe that it's not all on me. I can only learn what I am taught.
As for a love life, non-existant would be the most approriate term. Never had a boyfriend, never been romanced or wanted. No man has shown the least amount of interest in me, and by that judgement I must accept that I am either fated to be alone, or hideously ugly. Or both, but that would be a severe blow indeed.
That being said, I must confess that I'm rarely impressed with males anyways. Insensitive, brash, rude, and generally not overly quick on the uptake. Younger women annoy me, with their pettiness and falsities. Anyone who adpots the attitude that they are better than others needs a swift readjustment curtesy of my foot.
And now I'm sick. My nose is so sore I can barely blow it anymore and so exceedingly dry that even Aloe Vera isn't doing anything.
If these are my trials and tribulations, then the reward for perserverance better be good, God. That's all I can say on this subject right now. I am exhausted and stressed. Time to return to the essay.
-J
~ok is alright with me, somethings are just meant to be, it never comes easily, and when it does i'm already gone, i'm practically never still, more likely to move until i end up alone at will, my life continues inching along...~